Equality for Mothering

With the first same-gender marriages taking place the day before Mothering Sunday I have been thinking a little about Mothering. In fact my train of thought was encouraged by our preacher this morning who, out of a desire to be inclusive, encouraged us all, male, female, married, single, young and old, to consider our calling to "mother" other people.

The key question for me concerns three paired concepts, namely: male-female; masculine-feminine; and mothering-fathering. There are, of course, other related pairs but these are the three that I have been playing around with in my mind today (whilst digging trenches in the garden - another story). If we think of these three pairs as characteristics belonging to persons then they pan out rather differently. The first pair divides humanity fairly clearly into two sets (with the tiny, but not to be forgotten, percentage of those who are born physically transgender). The second pair however is much more interesting with a high degree of overlap and gradation. Although some societies value only masculine qualities in a man (and the feminine in a woman), there are others that recognise that a balance of masculine and feminine characteristic in the same person can be a strength, the one moderating the other. So what then of 'mothering' and 'fathering'?

By default, and I believe to the detriment of society, many women today find themselves required to father, as well as mother, their children. The same is true of a smaller number of men. Single parents are obliged to mother and father their children as best they can, although is some more communal societies the local community is good at providing surrogate fathers and mothers when the natural ones are not present. As I thought about this I was reminded that Jesus spoke of himself as a mother - a mother hen gathering and protecting her chicks. So perhaps Mothering Sunday is a good day for me to think a little more about how I mother those God brings to me, how I offer God's protection, care, nurturing, suckling, to His children.

What does all this mean for same-gender marriage?  If you were expecting me to answer that one you were hoping for too much.  But perhaps we should be concerned about our ministry of mothering and fathering so many children (and I include adult children) in our society who have just not received the nurture and care God intended for them - as concerned about that as much as we are about the morality of same-gender marriage.